


I don't wanna love (anyone but you)

by breakthesewallsdown



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), avalance - Fandom
Genre: 3x13, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, everything after 3x13 didn't happen (yet), insecure!sara, they're so soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 08:00:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14184477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakthesewallsdown/pseuds/breakthesewallsdown
Summary: “– working together. Uh, independently,”Sara didn't know what it meant. She still doesn't, over twelve hours later as she's in bed, sheets lowly draped over her waist, one arm crossed behind her head, her other hand resting on her stomach. Ava's on the other side of the bed, curled into herself, sound asleep.





	I don't wanna love (anyone but you)

**Author's Note:**

> I just bingewatched all of Legends and this is my first time writing these two together, so if they're ooc I apologize. Don't be too hard on me, I'm working on getting to know their characters better :')

_“Ava and I are –“  
“– working together. Uh, independently,”_

Sara expected it. Kind of. Well, not really, but on the other hand they haven't talked about what they are exactly, is it due lack of time or lack of guts, Sara's not sure. Don't get her wrong, she's perfectly capable of getting the girl, this time it just feels.. different. If only slightly. 

Like she's mentioned before, ever since she died everything's been different. And now, feeling all these feelings again, Sara's not quite sure how to deal with them exactly. She's also never really felt like this before. Fair enough, she's been in love before. Really in love before. But now it feels different. Only a little bit. There's this constant pull in her chest, it makes her feel dizzy the closer she gets to Ava and makes her heart ache the further she's away. 

It's quite inconvenient, really. 

And she thinks Ava feels the same way. Hopes so, at least. Because they went on a date and even though it might not have ended they way they – or at least, Sara – hoped it did, it was nice. They talked and got to know each other better and Sara really felt like they clicked. And even after the whole pirate fiasco Ava spent the night. Not that they actually slept a lot, so to say, but they dozed off after a few hours and when she woke up wrapped in Ava's arms, their legs tangled under the sheets, she felt content. At home, almost. 

As if that's where she belongs. 

Ava also didn't run when Zari caught them together in the kitchen. Okay, she may have seemed a little uncomfortable at first, but Sara would've felt the same way if the roles were reversed. Things with Gary also weren't very out of the ordinary, luckily. So Sara never really doubted what it was exactly, between them. Until Rip showed up out of, literally, nowhere. 

Sara was confident, wanted to tell Rip straightforward that she and Ava were together. It even filled her with pride, at that moment, to be able to say that Ava was hers. That she was Ava's. She kind of felt like telling everyone, just because her heart, for once, felt so full and happy. And then.. 

_“– working together. Uh, independently,”_

Sara didn't know what it meant. She still doesn't, over twelve hours later as she's in bed, sheets lowly draped over her waist, one arm crossed behind her head, her other hand resting on her stomach. Ava's on the other side of the bed, curled into herself, sound asleep. Sara honestly didn't have the guts to ask her to stay the night again, but then Ava had kissed her and they'd just ended up stumbling onto her bed. 

And she took things from there. 

It's not like she's scared to bring it up. She's not sure scared is the right word to use. She's kind of insecure, fair enough, but still. Sara's not sure about a lot of things, these days. It's starting to mess with her head. 

Ava whimpers in her sleep and Sara turns her head, pulling her eyes from the ceiling to the woman next to her. She's beautiful. And Sara's heart swells at the sight of a sleeping Ava. She seems relaxed. And she's also just really cute. She's pouting slightly, her head nestled deeply into her pillow. 

Sara smiles, rolls onto her side, her hand reaching out to tuck a strand of loose hair behind Ava's ear. Hand only lingering for a few seconds, her heart squeezes in her chest. Then she drops it onto the mattress in the space between their bodies. She can't believe she's lucky enough to have Ava here, in her bed, with her. Looking back on how things started between them, fair enough, Sara thought they might've hooked up at one point. The tension between them just wasn't anything they could've escaped from. Sara thinks they both knew that. 

What surprised her is how Ava started to make her feel, after a while. She still got under her skin, let's not argue about that, but her soft side made Sara weak. Kind of made her want to wrap Ava in a blanket and protect her from all harm. Even though the woman doesn't need any protection at all. She's perfectly capable of taking care of herself and that only makes Sara respect her even more. 

Sara's eyes drop to Ava's lips and she sighs softly. What if this is only some kind of friend with benefits thing for her? Fine, there might be a mutual sort of understanding that they like each other and they both know they're attracted to each other. But they've never explicitly said they have feelings for each other, or what it is exactly that they're expecting from this. 

What if Ava doesn't want her, like that? Sara doesn't even know if Ava is the kind of person who does relationships. At first she didn't seem like she is, but the more Sara got to know her, the more she hoped she would be. Because even though she's not good at relationships herself, for once she hopes this one will work out. She needs it to. 

“I can hear you thinking all the way from here,” 

Ava's voice is hoarse from sleep, her eyes still closed. Sara didn't even know she'd been awake. She wonders for how long she has been. Ava blindly grips Sara's hand into her own, gives it a little squeeze. 

“Everything okay?”

When Sara doesn't say anything, Ava slowly blinks her eyes open. The second their eyes meet Sara swears time stops and she feels like her heart stops beating. 

It crosses Sara's mind, then. She's used to dying, it doesn't even scare her anymore. But now, here, with Ava, she doesn't _want_ to die. 

And that's the difference, she realizes. 

Before Ava, she wasn't scared. She kind of expected it, every day, and she didn't even really care. It didn't bother her, the thought of just being gone one day. Sara didn't even think anyone else cared all that much. But now, with Ava, she doesn't want to go anywhere. And suddenly she understands what people mean when they say they have someone to _live_ for. 

“Sara?” 

Sara blinks herself back to the present, eyes locking onto Ava's, and she smiles. 

“I'm –“, she sighs, “I'm fine,” 

Ava frowns slightly, “We've been in bed for,” she rolls over, checks the clock on Sara's nightstand, then turns back, “nearly five hours and I doubt you've gotten any sleep,” 

Feeling busted, Sara looks down to their hands. Her finger runs random patterns on the palm of Ava's hand and she wishes she could write all the words she doesn't have the guts to say. Not now, not here, in the safe bubble they've created. Because Ava is looking at her like she's the brightest star in the sky herself and if Sara wasn't such a bad bitch she'd start crying. 

She's felt loved before, sure, but Ava's the first person she feels like she's not deserving of _that_ kind of love. Ava's love is so pure and Sara's never felt more undeserving than she does now. Especially at this moment, where Ava's just patiently looking at her, waiting for Sara to get her thoughts together. Sara knows what she should say, she just doesn't know how to bring it up without having to talk about her insecurities. 

“What's on your mind?” Ava's voice is gentle and it makes Sara feels like she could tell her. 

Like she _can_ tell her. And Sara knows she can. Even the look in Ava's eyes tells her she can. Because she's genuinely worried and Sara knows she actually really does care. She doesn't know why she's hesitating that much. 

Sara sighs, then, closes her eyes for a second and rubs her face with her free hand. Her other hand, that's still tangled with Ava's one way or another, stills and she bites her lip, scanning Ava's face for any sign that this means nothing more to her than Sara fears it does. But she doesn't find anything. 

“It's stupid,” she admits, then, quietly, “I'm not even sure why I keep thinking about it,” 

“About what?” 

Sara decides to man up, decides Ava is worth the risk of getting hurt, “About what you said on the bridge this morning. To Rip.” 

Something like understanding flashes behind Ava's eyes and Sara's heartbeat spikes up. She hates this. She hates handing someone her heart on a silver plater, expecting them to pick it up and smash it to pieces on the floor. Stomping on it to top it off, maybe. She never really thought of herself as someone _anyone_ could love. Let alone someone as wonderful as Ava.

“Is that what's been bothering you all day?” 

Sara shrugs, as far as that's possible in her position, averting her gaze from the woman in front of her. She feels like an idiot. Out there, she's a badass. Not afraid to order people around, kick their ass, even kill them if she has to. But here, under these sheets, with Ava next to her, she feels like a schoolgirl again. 

“Sara.” 

She looks up now. She has to, judging by the way Ava's said her name. Somewhat demanding, yet soft at the same time. Sara's heart squeezes just that little tighter in her chest. It's only then that she feels Ava's fingers under her chin, tilting her head up and keeping her in place. 

“I panicked,” Ava admits, then, now cupping her cheek, “I'm sorry.” 

Sara shakes her head, “Don't be. I told you it was stupid,”

“It's not stupid, Sara,” Ava says, her voice leaving no room for arguing. 

Sara frowns, not sure if she should agree with Ava. Not sure if she can. Because if it's not stupid, then why does she _feel_ stupid? She's never been this insecure about something like this. Sara's not even sure she ever cared as much about labels as she does now. 

“Maybe we just should've talked about it sooner,” Ava offers gently. 

Sara nods, “Maybe, yeah,”

Ava smiles that beautiful smile of hers and Sara's stomach flips at the sight. She's just so, so beautiful. She's not sure how much time passes as they just lay there, staring into each other's eyes, their fingers tangled together, but she finds that she doesn't really care. She enjoys being here with Ava, not being needed anywhere else, being able to just relax. 

Then Ava's gaze shifts and her eyes flicker down to Sara's lips, before looking back up into her eyes again. She breathes in quietly, holds her breath for a few seconds. Sara wonders what's coming next. Ava's thumb starts to rub small circles on Sara's hand as she talks. 

“What did you, uh,” Ava hesitates, “what did you want to tell them?” 

Now it's Ava who seems insecure and Sara's not sure she's seen her like this yet. It makes her heart swell in her chest, again, knowing she might not be alone in this after all. Sara savors the feeling of Ava's hand on her cheek and smiles softly, her own hand coming to rest on top of Ava's. And she finally seems to have some of her bravado back. 

“That we're together,” she says, looking Ava in the eyes, “or that we're dating.” 

Ava seems to sink into her pillow even more at this point, the smile on her face brighter than the sun. Sara's not sure how it happens but then she's kissing Ava and Ava is pulling their bodies together. Her lips are soft, yet she's kissing her hard and Sara's a little taken aback by the force behind Ava's kisses. But she's not complaining. 

Definitely not complaining. 

When Ava pulls back, Sara chuckles. She doesn't know why. She's just happy. Ava's hand is still on her cheek, but she lets it slide down her neck, further down her arm until she wraps her arm around Sara's waist and holds her close. 

“I'm sorry I ruined it,” Ava says, and even though she seem genuine, she seems at least a little playful. 

Sara shakes her head, “Stop apologizing. It's probably for the better. You know, with everything that's going on,” 

Ava's smile is small, but it's there, and she nods, “Maybe, yeah,” 

“But we are, right?” 

“What? Together?” 

“Mhm,” 

Ava kisses her again and this time it's so soft Sara feels like she's melting against her, her hand reaching out to hold Ava's waist, gripping tightly. She pecks Ava's lips a few times and then pulls back, looks at her. Waits. 

“Yeah,” Ava breathes, then, “we are.” 

A sigh of relief escapes Sara's lips and she drops her head slightly, smiling wide. All her 36 dimples are probably showing at this point, and she's not sure she's ever been this happy around Ava before, but she doesn't care. She wants Ava to see this side of her. 

“Were you _scared_ that I didn't feel the same way?” Ava asks, and Sara swears she's making fun of her. But only a little. 

“ _No_ ,” 

But it's said way too fast for Ava to think that's the truth. So when Ava squeezes her hip, Sara relents and cuddles closer towards the woman she's so intrigued by. She rests her head against Ava's chest and sighs deeply, relaxes under Ava's hand that's softly rubbing her back. 

“Maybe,” she then admits, voice small. 

“Sara,” 

It's a breath. Silent, still present. It shakes Sara to her very core and she shivers, buries herself deeper into Ava's chest. She's never felt this safe. 

“How can you not see that I'm totally crazy about you?” 

Sara's shocked, for at least thirty seconds. Then she pulls back just enough to look up at Ava, their eyes meeting, like they always do. There's a smile on Ava's face and Sara swears her cheeks are slightly tinted. It's the cutest thing she's ever seen. 

“You are?” 

Ava laughs softly, her hand now resting on the small of Sara's back, “Yes,” 

And then Sara's sure there's something about her reaction that's telling Ava how she's feeling, because Ava presses a kiss to her forehead and Sara can feel the shape of a smile against her skin. 

“You're not used to this, are you?” 

“Not really,” Sara says, then, “I mean, I've had,” she hesitates, “partners before. But it just feels different now, I guess,” 

And Sara's glad when Ava doesn't press on, when she doesn't ask her what she means with _different_. Because Sara's not sure she could explain right now. Not without telling Ava everything. It's too soon and Sara feels too fragile. 

“Well, you better get used to it then,” Ava mutters against her skin, before dipping down and kissing her lips, “because I don't plan on leaving your side anytime soon, okay?” 

Sara nods, because she doesn't know what else to do. Because she really hopes Ava's right.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to throw me promtps left, right and center! also feel free to cry with me over sara lance, because she is the absolute love of my life.


End file.
